May 13, 2013

Heart break update

I have some of the most amazing friends and people in my life!  I appreciate all of the support and awesome love I have been getting from everyone!  I am doing OK.  I have a positive outlook on things- I mean- I am beautiful, fun, intelligent, I own TWO homes, I am self employed and self motivated.  Beyond that I am loyal, affectionate, honest, and sexy.  I am stable.  I was acting crazy and hell even starting to believe I was crazy but now that the dust has settled I see that I was just so profoundly unhappy in my relationship.  There was no reward- not satisfaction, no intimacy there.  It was hollow.  Now that it is over, all of that "crazy" has dissipated.   I have had two dates this week with really great guys- one of which went so good it lasted about 48 hours.  I have been deciding on my goals and dreams for my future and have a plan for myself- no other partner or person needed to be happy, thank you very much!  So while I am getting back out there and meeting new guys, I am going to enjoy being single and have as much fun as possible.  I know who I am, I feel solid, I feel good.  I am still very heart broken over my break up, and I am taking time to mourn that loss-but I can't do anything to change it, so I am accepting it and MOVING THE FUCK ON.  The past is the past.  The two dates this week reminded me of what it is like to be with someone who is not emotionally stunted/relationship retarded and I am feeling more alive and more confident and well just more fucking awesome than I have in over a year.  I love him deeply- I probably always will to some extent-and if it had been within the realm of possibility for things to improve and change I would have done anything for that to happen- to be happy with him,  but staying the course we were on was miserable.  I know now that it was the best thing for us to break up. So thank you so much for all of your concern and well wishes.  I am great and going to be just fine!!!