In the face of losing everything, my perspective on what is important has come into sharp focus. Friends and loved ones, and the experience of being with them is the most important thing there is. Material possessions don't matter. In the end nothing matters but how you touch someone, and how they touch you. I try to live my life this way- I feel like in the last few years I have tried to walk this talk. Ian and I spent Friday night together. We have actually been spending quite a bit of quality time together. I am happy for that. Something in my head has switched- I don't think we will be together much longer. I love him with all of my heart but I am capable of letting him go. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be with them. It has been an interesting life lesson to go through. It hurts because I had expectations. I had the highest hopes for us. He still takes my breath away- I swear he does. I will enjoy him for as long as I can and let him go with love when it is time. It seems like I am being dramatic here- but seriously, my life is so up in the air right now, who knows where I will be in 6 weeks. Saturday we spent with Favre celebrating his birthday. I reunited with Jennifer and we spent and evening talking and catching up. Sandy took me out and we had a ball- I needed to and had not laughed that hard in a good minute- it was soothing to my soul. Laura is taking me out on Wednesday. I am feeling strong at the moment. It comes in waves.
